lyrics
My Bonnie Lass, she smileth on Heartache Hill
A man stands up before a jury of his peers
he is only wearing one shoe
the other in his hand
He declared,
GEORGE IV of the Quintessant: I do declare, in my own defense or perhaps in my offense depending on how you look at it that I was never better than any other human though sometimes lessor unfortunately however NOT MUCH LESSOR! I offer one piece of penance for my guilt, I have a alas one shoe to sacrifice that my life might be salvaged!”
JURY: George the forth of the Quentessant, what do you expect us to do with a shoe?
GEORGE: I expect you to walk!
JUDGE: TO WALK?
GEORGE: Yes to walk.
JURY: Very well, you shall be sentenced to one night on HEARTACHE HILL. And then you shall be permitted to return to the Quintessant, though no one has ever returned to the Quintessant from HEARTACHE HILL.
GEORGE: May my bonnie lass be permitted to visit me on HEARTACHE HILL?
JURY: That is strictly forbidden.
BONNIE LASS, seated in the crowd, frowns and sheds a tear...
RHEINHOLD: Stop!
The crowd gasps; my brother Rheinhold
RHEINHOLD: George! You musn’t allow this, no man has ever returned from Heartache Hill. In the name of our father you must stop! Good sir, please take me instead, I will wear your shoe in such a nasty place, that I may not hurt my feet!
GEORGE: Quiet Rheinhold. This is something I must do for our family. I must walk up the hill of heartache with dignity and valour...
RHEINHOLD: Oh, if you must go then you must take my staff to fend off the evil trolls that lurk upon the damn dark dirt floored forests of HEARTACHE HILL. I shall do my utmost George. May you be armed with the strength of a steadfast wind
BONNIE LASS: George! Remember me!
GEORGE: Remember you I shall, my Bonnie Lass, for that is the only thing that shall bring me home safely.
George walks on into the dead of the afternoon, deep in the forest. It is melancholy walk that turns into a very scary walk. Scary noises and voices are heard and George gets very scared. There is a rustle in some bushes...
GEORGE: What the bloody hell?
A scary voice calls from behind the bush...
VOICE: I HAVE LOST MY EXTRAVAGANCE! I HAVE LOST MY EXTRAVAGANCE! I HAVE LOST MY EXTRAVAGANCE! I HAVE LOST MY EXTRAVAGANCE!
My Bonnie Lass, she smileth on Heartache Hill.
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